Stupid List #1

This is the first time I've ever done one of these lists. I loaned it from Fuad's site, but I've seen it elsewhere.

1. Do you try to look hot when you go to the grocery store just in case someone recognizes you from your blog?
I don't try because I don't have to.

2. Are the photos you post Photoshopped or otherwise altered?
Have you seen them? If you do, let me know.

3. Do you like it when creeps or dorks email you?
Yes, very much. I like stalkers. I think I should hold a stalker convention. You're all invited.

4. Do you lie in your blog?
Never! Read my posts, why would I lie about that stuff?

5. Are you passive-aggressive in your blog?
Yes, I pass on agression.

6. Do you ever threaten to quit writing so people will tell you not to stop?
I haven't yet, but if I don't have 15 comments on this post, I'm not posting for a week!

7. Are you in therapy? If not, should you be? If so, is it helping?
No, No, Yes.

8. Do you delete mean comments? Do you fake nice ones?
No only spam. I actually like the mean comments. If I left a nice comment on your blog, chances are good that it is fake.

9. Have you ever rubbed one out while reading a blog?
I am at work for crying out loud.

10. If your readers knew you in person, would they like you more or like you less?
They would probably like me more, but I would like them less.

11. Do you have a job?
Obviously.

12. If someone offered you a decent salary to blog full-time without restrictions, would you do it?
This is probably the stupidest question in the world. Wait here's a stupider one.. "If someone offered you a decent salary to sit on your ass......."

13. Which bloggers do you want to meet in real life?
All of them, I want to throw a huge blogger party! Except for that monkey dude. He is a fruit.

14. Which bloggers have you made out with? (a)In real life? (b)In fantasy?
A) I wont name names, but you know who you are. B) Why fantasise when you can have the real thing?

15. Do you usually act like you have more money or less money than you really have?
Since I don't have any money, I must act like I have more. (Logic 101)

16. Does your family read your blog?
My wife sometimes, she tells me she doesn't like all the women making comments on my blog.

17. How old is your blog?
Old enough to drink.

18. Do you get more than 1000 page views per day? Do you care?
Yes, I get about 6500 page views per day. Yes, I am working my way up to a million.

19. Do you have another secret blog in which you write about being depressed, slutty, or a liar?
Yes, it is called Quesidillas for Breakfast.

20. Have you ever given another blogger money for his/her writing?
Yes, but the check didn't clear.

21. Do you report the money you earn from your blog on your taxes?
I don't report any money I earn.

22. Is blogging narcissistic?
Heck yes!

23. Do you feel guilty when you don't post for a long time?
I've never tried it.

24. Do you like John Mayer?
NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

25. Do you have enemies?
I pretty much don't like people, but they like me.

26. Are you lonely?
I miss my wife, why do I have to sit at this job all day...

27. Why bother?
Well, that is a good question. I would say mostly because if you don't, the NBA or NASA will put crabby powder in your Pepsi in an effort to make you look more appealing to the apple and banana pickers of the world.

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End of quiz. Now you know some useless facts, get off my back.