Things I did at work today…

- Practiced the 5 C’s of effective management: Contempt, Criticism, Corruptness, Cruelty, and self-Centeredness.
- Alwayslate played 10 minutes of a Jeff Foxworthy video that someone emailed to her. She thought it was so great, that she just had to send it to me. Speakers should be outlawed at work.
- Wrote a letter to my state senator asking him to propose a new law that would let me drive 95 miles per hour on any highway I want.
- Wondered why, when people are on speakerphone, they think they have to yell into the phone.
- Tried to figure out why the Arby’s Oven Mitt is so lame.
- Didn’t win an XBox.
- Sneaked onto Wannabe Bimbo’s computer and changed the MS Word autocorrect settings, so whenever she types in “the” it changes to “my awesome”
- Got a document from her that said, “If you look at my awesome reports, you will see that my awesome calculations show an actual decline in my awesome number of behavioral issues this month.”