The greatest invention ever for a sales person is...

The Sales support Staff! If you are a sales rep and you don't have a support staff, I think I can make it pretty convincing why you should get one.

* The sales support staff will do all your paperwork! That's right, you don't have to fill out stupid forms anymore.
* The sales support staff will take the blame when you screw up! Because the support staff are the ones who send out the forms to the customers, they are the ones who receive the phone calls when something isn't right.
* The sales support staff even take the blame from other people in the company. You just tell them what to do and they do it. That way, if you ask them to email another department (say for a change in a customer's billing) and you requested it wrong, the other department will call your support staff and bitch because they are the ones who sent the request.
* The sales support staff will be forced to do your tedious tasks! Got a task you dread? Just give it to the sales support and tell them you are too busy to do it and need their help.
* The sales support staff will answer your phone calls! This is very handy, since a customer may call with a weird or unusal problem. You don't have to sound like an idiot; like you don't know what you are doing. Leave that up to the sales support staff!

Come on! Make yourself feel superior! Get that sales support staff you deserve!

100th post

Ok, so I made it to 100...

Instead of the "Praise me, look what I can do, aren't I kewl?!?" posts that people usually make for their 100th posts, I want to do something different.

For my 100th post-day present, please visit and leave a comment my new favorite blog Sucky Marketing. (Sorry to anybody who thought the they were my favorite blog...) This dude is funny! I don't know if he works at a suckier company than I do, but his stories are better. So go make a comment. You SHOULD give him a link on your blog, but not even I have the powers to make you do that. But I can make you go comment. So go now!

It's list day

Since I haven't really done much the past couple days, I have some work related things that are starting to pile up a bit, so today is officially a list day. A list day is where I make a list of all the things I have to get done and I check them off as I finish them. So far I have 10 things on the list, and have already completed 3, but I'd rather just play Sudoku all day.

This blows.

I don't know why it is that I can sit here and do almost nothing all day and still be upset when The Rubber Clocker's daughter stops by for a 4 hour visit and they look at Rent.Com the whole time. Maybe it's just that I can hear them and it annoys me. Maybe it's that the daughter has one of those stupid Nextel walkie-talkies and uses it about once every 15 minutes to talk to her boyfriend. Maybe it's because after 3 hours, The Rubber Clocker says "Hmm maybe I should get some work done" and then doesn't do anything even remotely work related for the next hour or so. Maybe it's because 40% of their converation is talk about roads or directions. Maybe, maybe, maybe - is it just me?

Retirement party for Lookingbusy, please plan to attend.

That's right, I'm retiring! Put it on your calendars. I want you all to be there at my retirement party on February 11th, 2093. Wow, only 87 more years of looking busy to go!

Diarr-what-hea?

The older kid, 8, claimed to be sick today. "Oh my stomach, it hurts so bad. And my diarrhea smells really bad. I almost gagged when I was washing my hands." So I stayed home with him this morning and he stayed in bed for about 2 and a half hours. At about noon, he was looking ok, so I said get dressed we're going to work. I'm not really sure why I brought him in. I could have stayed at home all day. So he is sitting here at my desk drawing pictures. So far he has made a "Cone Wars II: Attack of the Cones" poster and a drawing of Spongebob and Gary with a jellyfish. At least it's not a full day.

I haven't gone to the bathroom yet today.

I think I am going to go do that now... it's 2:40 for crying out starfish!

Signs you did poorly in your interview.

* After you leave, you have enough time left in your parking meter to get lunch, go shopping and buy tickets for the upcoming Tony Roberts seminar.
* Interviewer asks questions like, "Are you sure you really want to work at a place like this?"
* Interviewer keeps checking his watch while you are talking.
* When you are getting up to leave, the interviewer gives you a hand shake and says, "Thanks for coming, it was nice to meet you." (as opposed to "Thanks for coming, I'll be in touch with you soon.")
* Also, "We'll let you know the outcome" is another very bad phrase to hear.
* Interviewer uses phrases such as "Well this company is ...." Pretty much anything where they emphasise this company.
* The interviewer asks if you have any experience using their own private, proprietary or in-company made software. Duh!
* After you tell the interviewer about your experience with ____, they pause from their notes and look at you like they are waiting for more.


Not surprisingly, all of these have happend to me.

Bleh

I think this blog is getting less interesting everyday. Most of my posts aren't even that funny anymore. I started this blog almost 5 months ago because I was bored and I needed something to do. Now, I don't even know if I want to continue it...

Two posts in one week... oops!

Sorry to all my loyal readers, the agony must have been unbearable... :P

I've been as bored as ever Tuesday - Thursday. I didn't even have interest enough to make a (good) blog entry. Today however is different. I have actually done some work things. I started a list of things I need to get done and have checked quite a few off so far already today. I'm sure more things will be added to the list, and maybe I'll even do them. My current mood is: Accomplished.


Now, let's get to Some Lies I Told Today

1) Nosy Church Lady, your gossip is so fulfilling. The way you threaten our coworkers behind their backs is amazing.
2) Your mom goes to college. Hehehe.
3) I have a sweet collection of limited edition Pokemon Bratz dolls. My favorite is the Picachu with the button down fly.
4) Staring into the sun can have lasik-like effects on your eyeballs.
5)



Look at that, I didn't even finish.

A rose by any other name...

I've decided that whenever Alwayslate has someone in her cube and is "chatting," I should be allowed to do whatever I want. Play games, read blogs, eBay some old used office supplies, work on mad schemes to take over the world, look for new jobs, work on my rubber band ball, etc. Now I will have even more down time to play with, w00t!

Speaking of Alwayslate, she needs a new name. Every since I complained to my boss that she doesn't take her lunch breaks, which are required by company policy, and 3 1/2 months later when my boss finally told her that she has to take her lunch breaks, she has been coming in earlier. Her timesheet says as early as 7:00 am some days. She still plays with her time quite a bit. 9 hours one day, 6 hours another, 11 hours a different day; it all seems like an elaborate scheme to trick everybody into thinking she is here more than she really is.

There's an old saying called rubber clocking. Basically, rubber clocking means that you are reporting your start and end (and break) times slightly off so that your recorded time is more than your actual time. So, from now on: Alwayslate shall be known as The Rubber Clocker.