Happy Happy

I am still laughing about it. Something really funny happened yesterday to my coworkers.

It all started when my coworkers went off to one of their secret society meetings and left me here to defend the cookies and answer the phones. I'm not really sure what goes on at the secret society meetings; I have never been invited. I always have to stay back and answer the 1 phone call per hour that we receive. In a way, I kinda feel left out, because they all go make decisions, discuss some crap or whatever they do and I am left in the dark. (They never even give me minutes or anything.) But then I remember that I hate those bozos and being stuck in a room with them for an hour would be MUCH worse.

I digress, back to the story...

Whenever they want to hold a meeting of their retarded secret society, they always have me set it up for them by reserving a room and sending the meeting invitations. Usually I put them in 1 of 2 rooms that are in the area, however, both rooms were busy yesterday at the time they requested, so I had to put their meeting in a different area of the building. What did they do? Yep, they went to one of the rooms that they normally go to and stole it from another group. This did not make the other group leader very happy. I got a call from the other group's leader and he asked me if they had reserved room B. I said no, they are supposed to be over in I. This made him quite angry and I guess he left them know it. I think he would have kicked them out, but they had already started a conference call to their supreme leaders or something.

When they got back, Nosy Church Lady came to my desk and said, 'Weren't we supposed to be in room B? Did TM come over here?' I said, 'Yeah, he called me. You were supposed to be over in room I.' Then I showed her the meeting notice and her jaw dropped. 'Oh no, she said. He was really mad. He was in there yelling at us.'

It felt good.

My company has a stupid website.

I always secretly laugh when I get an email from one of my co-workers. In her signature, it says "Find what your looking for... FAST! www.stupid-company.com"

Our website sucks! Nothing is easy to find. Navagation sucks. Layout sucks. Design sucks. The search capabilities suck. Everything about it sucks.

It is neither easy nor fast to find anything on our website. Almost everyday we have customers call and ask us where they can find something on the website. Usually, this ends up being about a 5-10 minute call while we ourselves have to go out to the site and frantically try to find whatever it is they are trying to look up. Don't even try the search function, that will bring back 100 pages of useless crap from 1993. I usually tell customers, "They just restructured some of the site and moved a few things around. I will have to help you look for it."

Our website does have a lot of information on it, but nobody can find it, including the people that work here. Please don't call me asking where you can find information on our site...

Slacking?

I guess I would say that I've been slacking lately. I know, it's hard to believe, but it possible that I haven't been living up to my potential.

One of my bosses gave me a list of names and personal phone numbers of people that work here and she wants me to make sure it's up to date. She gave it to me last week and when she checked yesterday to see how I am doing on it, I had to tell her I hadn't started yet. I wonder if it is just because I am lazy unmotivated or because I don't like the idea of a whole list of personal phone numbers being available to almost anyone.

I don't have anything to say...

I don't really have much to say, so I am going to just make a post to say HI!

HELLO EVERYBODY! HAVE A NICE DAY!

Where your head at? Where your head at?

If you are truely busy and you want to give me some of your work because you tried, but you just can't finish it, fine. If you want to run around like your nuts, talk on the phone to your buds for 20-30 minutes at a time several times a day, constantly complain about how busy you are and how the boss is on your case about not getting everything done, position yourself 6 inches from my computer monitor when I ask a question about an email or something about our software because you think I am looking at it right now, annoy me by saying 'oh geez' or 'crap now what' every time your phone rings or you receive an email, then why don't you just give me all of your work, go home and stay the hell away so I can do it and sit here and be bored in peace.

This is how it is.

I need a scam business. Something where I can make a lot of money off of others. Something where I can pay some dork 10 bucks to do a job that makes me 70. Something where the customers pay me a lot of money for some simple service. I could retrieve mail from peoples mail boxes for $10 bucks a month. I mean, I could pay some dude 8 bucks an hour to pick up mail from peoples mailboxes and carry it to the house. Let's see... he could do 60 houses in an hour, 26 days a month, 60 X 10 = 600 net, 26 X 8 = 208 pay, that makes almost 400 a month per 60 houses. Great! Anybody want a job? I am tired of being the dork carrying mail to peoples houses.

Things I did today to annoy my blog readers...

* NOT make a post in many many days.

* NOT sing in the car, record it and play it on my blog.

* NOT make a joke or be even remotely funny.

* NOT view any other blogs, even if it's on my daily to do list.

* NOT send the pack of Oreos I was promising one blog reader.

* NOT tell them that their blog is great.

* NOT finish this post.

* NOT

Things I did at work today...

* Thought of a new business idea... expiredcopyrights.com where you could search for copyrights that have expired and take claim of them.
* Watched an IT dude try to figure out how to save as a file.
* Just like every week, I sent out a weekly report that I make and got lots of emails asking what it was, what certain columns mean, etc. I give the same response every week, "I just pull the data from the database. I am not the one entering the data into the database. I don't know why that customer is not listed. I only report what is in the database..."
* Put my headphones on so people wouldn't bother me. It didn't work.
* Kept saying the word 'Barren' as much as possible just to mess with my coworkers.
* Tomorrow I am going to use the word 'Jazzy' as much as possible. My goal is 75 Jazzys.
* Had a very uncoordinated fire drill. The door we were supposed to go through was locked and nobody unlocked it. Had to walk across the building just to get out.

My PEN!

Nosy Church Lady stopped by my desk eariler. She had some stupid crap she wants me to do. She brought a print out and was making marks on it with my pen. Not my pen that she just picked up. My pen that she brought with her. My pen that "dissapeared" a few weeks ago. My bright green pen that is unmistakably mine. My pen that she stole from me. A few weeks ago. And then has the nerve to use it at my own desk. Right in front of me.