Lies I Told Today.

- I saw Hulk Hogen trip on a crack in the sidewalk and I laughed out loud at him.

- I won the ring toss nine times straight once.

- As a side project, I am in the Palm Tree rental business.

- My jetski can go 125 mph.

- I have almost completed my ebook, Using the Google Loopholes to Your Advantage (and getting super rich in the process.)

- My blog receives 6500 page views per day, the counter only displays every 100th visitor so that each person thinks they have found a diamond in the rough.

"Don't be afraid" otherwise known as "Just take it!"

It can almost be guaranteed that, if there is candy, snacks or food sitting around, the last piece will always be saved for me. Not that they want me to have the last piece, but that everybody is afraid to take the last one. But I am not afraid.

I took the last Abdallah Chocolate!

Today is the day...

- that I am going to go talk to an HR rep about my coworker cheating on her timesheet and my boss letting her.

- that I am going to ask my boss to let me apply for a different job (which is required since I haven't been in this position for the required time.)

- that I am going to tell my coworker that I am too busy to do her work.

- that I am going to finish my two small projects and sit around bored.

- that I am going to stop asking questions. I never get a good answer and I am tired of looking like I don't know what I am doing. (I don't but that is because I was never trained.)

- that I am going to start making up lies about my personal life so that I sound really cool.

- that I am going to start bitching more to everyone.


Good luck, world.

So MAD!

My coworker has been working on a project for about 2-3 weeks and it should've only taken a week or less. Since it is a "high priority customer" it's pretty much all she has been doing (well, except for the time she wastes standing around chatting with the other old women, talking on the phone, working on her crafts/sewing or whatever the hell else she does...) So every day she tries to push all her other work on me. I have enough of my own things to do, rather than bother with all her crap.

More than one boss.

Pros and cons of having more than one boss.

Pro:
If a boss hasn't given you anything to do, they think the other bosses have given you work and assume you are busy.

Con:
Each boss may overload you with work at times not knowing what the other bosses have given to you.


I take advantage of the pros and the cons never happen to me because there is never anything to do.

“Birthday potlucks” otherwise known as “Remember the old days?”

Today was this woman’s 50th birthday, so they held a potluck for her. Here in my new department, people usually just bring in some kind of cupcakes/cake/treats on their own birthday and the treats are gone by 10:00 am.

But, being that this was her 50th birthday, they held her a potluck. This was unlike any potluck I’ve ever been to though. They set up the food in a conference room. Everything good so far, right. There is a table with a bunch of chairs in the room. I figured, everybody will just grab their food, sit down, eat, then get up, get some cake and go back to their desk; no pressure. So I got my food and sat down. The atmosphere was strangely family-like. These people are not my family. Why did it feel like I was sitting down to a family dinner?

And the conversations were so boring! Imagine sitting around a table, as a 24-year-old man, with about 15 women and 1 other man all between the ages of 41 and 59. Plus, most of them have been working together for 20+ years. I have only been here in this department for 3 months. I wanted to just get up and leave so bad, but I knew I would get this awful look from everybody like ‘Where do you think you’re going?’

So I sat and waited it out. Finally, after about an hour somebody finally stood up and made a move toward the door.

What did I bring to the potluck? Well, they sent around a list, and there was a slot for a person to bring a veggie tray plus about 4 other people to help pay for it. My co-worker signed up to bring the veggie tray, and I was one of the people who signed up to help pay for it. I figured, veggie tray would be ~$15 divided by 5 people is only 3 bucks, right? Well she comes in with all these fresh vegetables, mushrooms, peppers, carrots, radishes, etc. She took them and cut them all and I just know it’s going to end up being more like $30 and I am going to be stuck paying her 6 bucks for something that hardly anyone touched because of course she was late and spent the first half of the potluck cutting the veggies.

Sorry this is so long… I hate reading long posts.

"What is the world coming to?" otherwise known as "Odd-behavior"

Two very interesting things happend to me today within a 2 minute time span.

Today, during my lunch break, I left work to run a couple errands. On the way back into the building, I passed a woman on the sidewalk. She was in her upper 50's, short and a little stocky. She had a purse or bag of some kind in her right hand, and in her left hand she was holding a cigarette. We passed eachother on our left sides, and as we did, she stretched her left hand, the one holding the cigarette, as far to the right side of her as she could. It was basically on her right hip. I thought this was quite odd. Was she trying to protect me from the "nasty" second hand smoke? Was she afraid that I may grab her last cigarette right out of her hand? I thought about asking her what her intentions were, but since I generally do not care to pry into people personal business, I decided not to.

About two minutes later, I was inside the building walking down the hallway towards my desk. I passed by a handicapped woman who works here. I politly smiled at her and softly said 'Hello' and then turned to the right to head towards my desk. I then heard her mutter under her breath (Which is pretty loud; have you ever heard a handicapped person mutter or whisper anything quietly?) 'Outta my way, stupid ass.' I guess this is not suprising, but it is sad. This person does not have the brain capabilities of most of the rest of us, and all this world has taught her was to be rude to people who are being nice to you.

No, I'm not dead or fired.... yet.

I'm getting kinda tired of the "Things I Did at Work Today" lists, so I think I am only going to do those every once in a while now.

Mondays always get me. Old women standing around chatting about their stupid weekends; going to the antique stores, lunch with the girl friends, blah blah who cares. People don't realize that I don't want to hear about it.

The game of the day.............. SEE HOW MANY PERSONAL PHONE CALLS YOU CAN MAKE IN A DAY! So far, I am about 30 calls behind with 1.

Things I did at work today...

1) Everywhere is humid and sticky today because of the rain and it's making me feel a little sick. Plus I had peanut butter toast for breakfast, so that isn't helping either.
2) Coworker was late again - I superglued her mouse buttons down.
3) Somebody moved my lunch in the refridgerator, so I played "Scrambled lunchboxes" with the other lunches in there.
4) Got annoyed with people trying to pry into my personal life because they don't have a life of their own.
5) Put up a flyer on the bulletin board looking for my lost pair of scissors. Reward: a pack of rubberbands and a sticker from a Crack Jack box.
6) Coworker was only at her desk for about 2 hours all day, so tomorrow I am going to use the superglue on her chair.
7) Had someone stand over the top of me and make me search the internet to try to find what year that "Looking for love in all the wrong places" by Waylon Jennings was released.

Things I did at work today...

1) Threw away a very gross banana peel.
2) Co-worker was late again - I am going to ask my boss if I can start work at 2:30 am so I don't have to deal with her.
3) Visited my previous co-workers and everybody was just a little too excited to see me.
4) Again I heard "What are you eating it smells so good" when I heated up my lunch. After I said that it was Olive Garden, I heard complaining because she couldn't go get some herself even if she wanted to.
5) Decided that if I ever own my own business, I am not going to hire someone to do whatever it is I do.
6) As I was sending some chocolates to our new customers and everybody said something to me like "MMM Chocolates, better hide them from me!"
7) Talked to this guy who said that in order to help lower gasoline prices, he is looking for oil in his backyard.